Monday, April 30, 2012

The Biggest Loser wins again.

You may have noticed that this post is about 12 hours late. Actually, you probably didn't notice because this blog isn't really a part of your life now, like it is mine. I deeply regret my tardiness anyway, but I have about a million (this time legitimate) excuses. If you are a regular reader, you know that I moved yesterday. My seemingly innocuous little jump from one small apartment to another about 2 miles away started out great but quickly turned into one big, wet, pain in the posterior by the end.

This was me at 11:30 p.m. last night.

If you make it through this whole post without crying, you are stable enough to be my friend.

It all started when the movers were late. My apartment was squeaky clean (THANKS MOM AND BOBBIE!!!), and after packing them into the car to go home, I had grabbed some lunch and watched two episodes of The Office. I was ready to move. Only one thing was missing: A 24-foot truck and two hunky movers. When they did finally arrive 2 hours late, they did a great job. They were hunky as promised and one of them was even so tall (he ran into my ceiling fan) that I got him to replace a light bulb after my step ladder had already been packed in the truck. I gave them candy bars and told them only two pieces of furniture meant anything to me so they were pretty happy with me overall.

The trouble really began when we got to the new place and the elevator was being an idiot. In fairness I think it was originally built as an idiot with no hold button at all, a "HELP" button that isn't recessed so anyone can easily bump into it and call the security company, and a shrill ringing noise if you try to manually hold the doors open for more than 10 seconds. One of the movers called it "the dumbest elevator he's ever seen". Well the elevator must have heard him and decided to go into full-on Jerk Mode. First they got stuck inside for 5 minutes, prompting the maintenance man to come rescue them and an old lady resident to hold them up in the hallway and complain to them for days (and waste my precious by-the-hour charges) about how she had to wait on the second floor.

At the pinnacle of the "troubles" as we'll call them from now on, it just plain stopped opening and was stuck on my floor. The sixth floor. Thankfully we only had about 8 things left to take up which we were able to put in my garage parking space (holla!!) and the move ended after three long hours. But I wasn't done yet. I got stopped in the stairwell by the condo association president (read: Cranky, Self-Important Old Lady) and got chewed out for 10 minutes about how "my men" had BROKEN the elevator. She said they leaned on the door and broke it. I mean these guys are strong, but this is an ELEVATOR. They are usually pretty resilient. I pretended to sympathize but she was being totally irrational and I was the one truly inconvenienced by this. It was almost 9 p.m. and I wasn't in the mood to hear it.

It could have been worse, I guess.

Next I had to go get Willy, who I had left at the old place without much food and no company. Of course it was raining by then and I got lost in my own neighborhood (don't ask) but I finally got him back. Now here's the real problem. I had neglected to bring the 42 lb bag of cat litter into the moving truck so the Two Burlies could move it instead of me. And the elevator was "broken", so I had to hoof it up 6 flights of stairs carrying the bag on my shoulder like a sack of concrete with wet, too-long jeans tripping me along the way. I was channeling the best of the Biggest Loser contestants at this point and thought, "If my lungs don't go out, I just might make it to the top and my family will be so proud of me!"

Where were you last night, Bob?

I did make it to the top, but then I had to go back to the car for the cat who was whining inside his little carrier. We both made it up again safely but with deep contempt for each other. After getting some real food in me and doing some laundry (the second load was an empty tub because I was so tired I forgot to put the clothes in!) I finally collapsed into bed at 12:30. Willy was as distraught and confused as any cat in new surroundings so he jumped up on me about 500 times and kept batting me in the face and meowing. I was almost grateful when 4:30 came and I had to get up to pray fajr.

Here's where you're beginning to think, "This post is never going to end. She's going to complain for the next two hours!" But it's not true. There was a wonderful interlude in there I didn't tell you about which was when two gal pals dropped by with a baby and housewarming gifts including this wonderful book which I will use to get back in the good graces with the Super. Before the "troubles" started we also went for ice cream across the street. I treated the movers since they had been on overtime since starting my move. It was lovely.

Today has also been great, hence the title. I crawled out of bed at 8:30, took the miraculously fixed elevator to the first floor and went to the Caribou NEXT DOOR to my place and got a much-needed coffee. Then it was off to the old place to officially check out. The manager looked in the oven, declared the place clean, and I was on my way back home. The Internet People connected me up and all I had to do was plug in my modem to get blogging. I have a gorgeous view out my balcony windows and a buddy is coming over to help me put my kitchen together while I have the day off.

I love overcast days.

I love Walgreens.



I listened to the Quran in the car during both trips from the old place. It's the best I could do under the circumstances. It was calming but my heart wasn't really in it. I will make it up later insha Allah (God willing).


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. That move was...interesting. Alhamdulillah for the great new place which more than makes up for it!