Going for the Gold

I knew the Olympics were going on during Ramadan, and I had thought a little bit about how hard that must make the competitions for the Muslim athletes who will be fasting for around 18 hours a day. But not until this morning did I consider how much personal sacrifice is made in an effort to win worldly rewards like gold medals, and promotions at work, and tacky little statues of bowling men, even. People train for most of their lives to be Olympic athletes. High-powered executives lose countless hours of sleep while burning the midnight oil at the office, ordering in Chinese food and taking off their ties at some point (oh, is that just in the movies?). Even league bowlers spend a lot of time and money to get the accolades of their buddies and the jealousy of their beer-bellied rivals.

Walter is not even messing around here. Smokey was over the line.

Non-Lebowski fans, just forget about that picture. You don't really need to know.

One Mississippi.

Count to six. I'll wait.

There—a child just died of hunger. According to the World Food Programme, this happens every six seconds. Think about it too much and you will dive into a depression hole so deep that not even an hour-long episode of 30 Rock guest-starring Kristen Wiig and Zach Galifianakis will get you out.

Disgusting!

But we do have to think about it a little bit. Bear with me.

Hope floats your boat!

My little poll to the right timed out today, coinciding with the start of Ramadan (now it makes sense, huh?)—and while not a lot of people voted, the favor went overwhelmingly to hope as a motivator. I used to be crippled by procrastination and have some flare-ups now and then, but I'm mostly driven to accomplish my goals by a hybrid mixture of hope and encouragement.

I'd love to hear from you about your tricks and tactics to banish the "I'll do it later" monster from your life.

Finding flowcharts for my blog on the googles is my version of drawing a pterodactyl.

Next!

Goofy sandwich with Business Bread

Yesterday I had a true day off but I accomplished a lot at the beginning and end.

I forgot to blog about it, so here it goes. Just to update you on my whole sleep study appointment, it didn't happen. Due to the efficiency of the State of Minnesota in dropping people from their healthcare plans the minute they forget to pay, I couldn't keep my appointment. There's no way I was going to pay for it and try to get reimbursed. As my pops says, I was born at night but not last night. Anyway I got a ton of stuff done with my day off including an oil change (half off with handy direct-mail coupon!), grocery shopping, a bunch of e-mail answering, and other odds and ends. I did pay my insurance premium too, so I'm back in business for my new appointment over a month from now.

After all that productivity it was time to get stupid. I got together with two besties and we ate ice cream truck treats, halal beef jerky, chips, and other junk. We decided it would be a good idea to dye our hair with henna and proceeded to make a huge mess all over our heads, the bathroom, and other areas of my friend's apartment. We gabbed and made dinner while the chunky, nasty dye paste cooked under plastic bags tied over our heads. It was great.

I'm the skeptical one. Toni's shock-ed. Salihah is very smug about her news.

Onward!

Warp Level

It seems I've sort of skipped over a few days here, kinda like when you warp in Super Mario Bros. and end up in World 4 by going through a tube. Yeah, we can just say I warped, rather than admitting I neglected to blog.

Ironically, you can lose whole days in real life playing this game too.

Ok, now that that's over with, on to writing the things! The things that I am thinking!!

80% ain't bad.

The post title will make more sense later on but for now, I just have to say that people are fun and they make life great. There. Most of you who know me will read this and go, "Say, WHAT?? Who are you and what did you do to my cynical and socially isolated friend?" It's true that despite the fact that I talk a lot, I rarely actually want to talk to anyone (we'll leave that to the therapists to figure out).

However today there were lots of other-people-funnies, most of which didn't require me to be in the conversation. The boss's kids were at the office and totally cracking me up, making jokes about how they're so African they play catch with an eraser and other side-splitters. One of our colleagues in Ethiopia was using some hilarious broken English in an e-mail, and our Bosnian contractor screamed some super-good admonishments into the phone at one of his workers. Ok this was yesterday but it was too good to leave out. He actually used the phrase, "This isn't gypsy land. This is real land!" I can't believe I survived the laugh attack.

The theme here seems to be that I hang out with a lot of diverse people (true) and they are funny as a result (totally). This makes me seem slightly insensitive (guilty) but it's all in good fun and I love every one of these characters for their unique personalities.

We got nothin' on the East Africans, let me tell you.

The sweeping generalizations are over (for now).

Not the worst Monday ever.

This one wasn't too shabby! We'll pretend I didn't take a really dumb way to work as I experiment with the best route to the new office which is right smack in the middle of no-highway-even-close-to-here-construction-zone. There is a Pizza Hut nearby, but who does that help? No one. Anyway even though I was a bit late, I got a ton of things accomplished, we had a reasonable staff meeting, and now I'm home with the AC on, blogging the night away with you.

It looks a little like this except I have red hair and wouldn't be caught dead in a Snuggie.

Did you know there are superhero Snuggies? Sheesh.

Thick and Thin.

I've decided I will once again post every single day, as I did "in the beginning", no matter what I have actually done toward my goal of 20 minutes a day of Islamic studies and exercise. I think (no, I KNOW) it helps me stay motivated when I'm accountable, and I miss writing every little thing that comes into my head, whether for your amusement or not (most probably not).

He seems to get the idea.

Today is just a quick little post—don't worry. I know how to take 'er easy on a Sunday.

Digging out.

It's been a while—I missed you! I just looked at the date on my last post and it was the day we started moving our office. That part went fine—the movers were super-efficient and professional—but the ensuing two weeks of nonstop hold music and frustrating, circular conversations with our phone and internet "provider" were about as unproductive as my year off from college in 1998. At least I didn't lose my driver's license for a month and my job at the grocery store forever like I did that year.

This creepy Monopoly Man is riding a narwahl. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Maybe moving to the next part of this post will help you get your mind off that infographic nightmare.