Calorie Reunion 2012

Hello everybody! I missed you while I was out sick again and then galavanting around Southern Minnesota. I meant to post this on Monday after I got back, but somehow it's Thursday and who knows how that happened.

Maybe these guys picked me up and didn't tell me about it.

I'll tell you about my excellent adventure down US Highway 169 after the warp.

A little less talk.

I meant to post about this last night, but I got wrapped up in the fervent and delightful chaos that is hanging out at Salihah's house. In addition to her 5 boys, her little two-bedroom home was packed with her mom and another friend as we bounced around between making bottles, doing dishes, and serving up this delicious shredded chicken taco meat stuff from the crockpot. I was also half-heartedly trying to take part in an online orientation for a new class (more on that later) while balancing a baby on my lap, but that ended pretty fast. The evening culminated in dill pickle chips, Cheetos Puffs®, and sweet-n-salty candy bars while browsing (and ridiculing) fall-layering knitwear online. It was bliss.

This lady would have been disappointed in us.
And BTW, that new "MyPlate" alternative to the Food Pyramid doesn't make sense in any language.
I tried reading a brochure.

This post was supposed to be about taking action. We'll get there.

20-Minute Mile.

Thanks to the magic of Google Maps and the Paintbrush tool in Photoshop, I have artfully illustrated here the route of my lunchtime walk today. There's more about it in the exercise section of the post but I didn't have anything pithy to lead off with today. Shocking, right?

Ok so maybe it wasn't really a mile, but since I don't have one of those awesome wheel-distance-measuring thingamajiggers my dad used when he worked for the street department, who can say with real accuracy how much I ever walk on these meandering journeys I take? Oh, he would just die if he realized I have no idea what that thing is called. It will confirm his constant assertions that we were in fact never listening to him!

Anyschnitzel, this isn't about walking certain distances or not disappointing your dad. It's about taking pictures and then showing them to people on the Internets to prove you actually walked.

34th time's the charm.

As my dear friend Salihah would say, I made my 34th revolution around the sun last week. I didn't blog on that day because A) I had kind of a crappy day and B) I don't celebrate birthdays so posting about it would just frustrate people who wanted to wish me well and I only like frustrating people sometimes and those times are usually when I'm in a good mood and want to mess with some heads.

Please don't ever do this to your child.

Anywhoodles, I'm older and that's that.

Staycation.

You didn't hear from me last week because I was totally and completely unplugged from technology (well, as much as one can be here in Minnesota without heading Up North to BWCA and getting lost/wet/eaten by a bear). I mean I was not tweeting, blogging, or facebook-ing. I was also not working for three magnificent days plus the weekend. It was basically amazing.

Let's pretend that dog is Willy the Cat, ok?

It would behoove you to read about my lazy exploits ahead...

Rotten zucchini.

Blogs are like fresh vegetables. You get all excited about all of the beautiful things you could grill, roast, or dip in tempura batter and fry (YUM!) and for a little while, you bask in the colorful glory of reds, greens, purples, and yellows of the Earth's bounty. Then you forget all about them for a month while they go soft and wrinkly in the crisper drawer. Well, you don't REALLY forget. You think about them every once in a while, and you pull them out and see if they're really, truly dead or just "ready for chili". Guilt sets in, and you start to avoid the fridge altogether while you cook out of your pantry (old Cheers episodes) and bring home takeout (MasterChef Season 3) or just gorge yourself at the State Fair (Mr. Mom on Netflix). There are apparently a lot of things you can do on the Internets besides blogging.

Maybe these people can come up with something to freshen my blog every once in a while.

In the interest of not becoming one of those people on Hoarders, today I am dusting off some carrots that still have some life in them and making chicken and dumplings. As you can tell from reading this, I am also posting on my blog.

Going for the Gold

I knew the Olympics were going on during Ramadan, and I had thought a little bit about how hard that must make the competitions for the Muslim athletes who will be fasting for around 18 hours a day. But not until this morning did I consider how much personal sacrifice is made in an effort to win worldly rewards like gold medals, and promotions at work, and tacky little statues of bowling men, even. People train for most of their lives to be Olympic athletes. High-powered executives lose countless hours of sleep while burning the midnight oil at the office, ordering in Chinese food and taking off their ties at some point (oh, is that just in the movies?). Even league bowlers spend a lot of time and money to get the accolades of their buddies and the jealousy of their beer-bellied rivals.

Walter is not even messing around here. Smokey was over the line.

Non-Lebowski fans, just forget about that picture. You don't really need to know.